The Follow Through

When I used to snowboard, I would often get really cold - my toes specifically. No matter how much I tried to wriggle them, point them, jump around on tiptoe, they were cold. Once I passed my body's cold temperature threshold, there was no going back for my poor little toes. That's when I started to buy toe warmers - amazing little packets of chemicals that would heat my toes for about 12 hours after I put them in my boots. They were really cheap too, so I didn't feel bad about using them.

One day, I went snowboarding on a particularly cold day. I was on the lift, feeling really cold, and the Lord brought an image to my mind. Someone sleeping under a bridge, freezing from the snow, and probably having toes much colder than I have ever experienced. 

When the day of riding ended, and we drove back down to Denver, I mentally promised myself to pick up some hand and foot warmers to give out to homeless people during the cold months. 

It's funny how easy it is to "follow through" with what God's called us to do until it's actually time to "follow through." 

I bought the warmers, no problem, and I kept them in my purse. I made sure I was ready to give them out to the first homeless person I saw that looked cold. And the moment quickly came when I did see a homeless person that looked really cold. My moment of follow through was upon me. And you know what I did?

Nothing. 

I was so self-conscious, I became paralyzed. I paced around, trying to decide how to give the homeless man the hand and foot warmers. I'll hand them to him and say "God bless." No, that's stupid. I'll ask him if he's cold. If he says yes, I'll hand them to him. But what if he's angry? What if he doesn't want them. What if he's not really homeless and I insult him. Soon, my window of opportunity had closed, the man walked away, and I was left with hand and foot warmers that I didn't need.

The rest of that winter, I kept the warmers in my purse, and I never ended up giving them to anyone. To this day, they are in a box somewhere in my parents' house, unopened, unused, and a reminder of my failure to follow through with what the Lord asked me to do. 

As I boxed up the hand and foot warmers in late September, when we were preparing to move to Ukraine, I remember thinking, I hope I can do better next time. I hope I can follow through. 

The Lord taught me a lot through those warming packets. 

The first thing I learned is, no matter how humble I think I am, I'm actually really prideful, and I need to allow the Lord to work on that in me. Constantly worrying about what people will think of me, being paralyzed from the fear of doing the wrong thing, and then being called out on it, is pride. In trying to protect myself, I'm actually trying to protect my pride, and refusing to let the Lord care for me. 

The second thing I learned is, when God asks me to do something, there's no time to waste. If He says go, I have to go. If He says wait, I have to wait. Sometimes it's hard to hear the Lord's voice clearly, so when I do hear His voice clearly, I can't just mess around, I have to act. I have to be prepared to do what He tells me to do when He tells me to do it. Basically, I have to follow through with whatever the Lord asks of me. Not just nod and say, "Oh yeah Lord, I hear you. I've got to work through some things and then I'll get right on that." I have to be ready to say, "I hear you, Lord, and I'll do what You asked." And then, do it!

Thankfully, the Lord, in His infinite grace and mercy, gave me another chance this week to show I learned from my hand and foot warmer failure. He gave me a change to show that I can follow through with what He asks of me.

Byron and I were getting groceries and Byron decided to buy an extra loaf of bread. The bread had no purpose, we didn't need it, we just wanted an extra loaf. We payed for our food, left the store, and started walking home. Right when we rounded the corner to our apartment complex, I saw someone digging through our dumpster, looking for food. I kept walking and then I heard the Lord's voice. Give the loaf of bread away. 

I ignored the Lord's voice at first, but then my heart started racing. I looked at Byron and almost burst into tears. "Byron, I have to give that person the loaf of bread!" He hands me the bread and I ran back to the homeless person. I walked up to the person, who I thought was a man. "Excuse me," I said timidly in Ukrainian. The person turned around and I realized that the person is not a man, but an old woman. She looked like she was maybe 70 or 80 years old, which means she was probably 50 or 60 years old. And she had the brightest blue eyes that I have ever seen. I instantly forgot all of my Ukrainian and Russian, and simply put my hand out with the loaf of bread in it. She took it, smiled, and bowed her head toward me. 

I was so blown away by the whole experience, I didn't wait around to see what was going to happen next. I ran off as quickly as I could, flew up the stairs to my apartment, got inside, and started to cry. These was such a rush of emotion, it would be impossible to recount it all in words.

But, I can say that I now understand that helping people when the Lord asks us to doesn't just help other people, it helps us. My eyes are now opened to the needs of the people around me, and seeing that old woman, who will probably die soon from the cold, disease, or starvation, has made me feel compassion in a way that would be impossible otherwise. All because I finally did the right thing and followed through with what God asked me to do. All that I learned from the Lord, all the compassion the Lord gave me, everything, the Lord wanted it all to happen a year ago. But because of my stubbornness and pride, I missed out on something amazing, and I won't let that happen again.

In all of this, the Lord taught me to have ears that hear, eyes that see, hands that do, and feet that go. And the next time the Lord asks me, or you, to do something, may we all be able to follow through.

Blessings,

Emily