Bringing in the New Year always stirs up emotions. This last month, I've been trying to find a way to connect my feelings for 2014 to my expectations and hopes for 2015. It's strange, because 2014 was one of the best years of my life - and yet the hardest and most painful.
When I think about everything that once was, and now is no more, I look back on 2014 with exhaustion, unable to look everything at once, for fear of it overwhelming me. And then, I look at 2015, and I see how this year hasn't really gotten off to a great start for me, in a lot of ways. When the New Year comes, I usually see it as a time to restart, to change so that I don't repeat the same mistakes that I made the previous year. It's usually a fresh start. But this January, I just couldn't seem to disconnect myself from 2014, and I felt like everything that was aching in my heart from 2014 was still clinging to me as the New Year rolled in.
Just recently, Byron and I were reading through John together, and I read something interesting, that I've never found importance in before... In the first Chapter of John, Philip goes to Nathanael and tells him about how he found the One that Moses and the prophets spoke of, the One that they'd been waiting for. And in response to this incredible news, Nathanael says, "Can anything good come out of Nazareth?" And Philip responds by saying, "Come and see" (John 1:46).
This one verse really struck me. Nathanael was prejudice against Nazareth, and therefore, he was reluctant to believe that anything good could come out of Nazareth, let alone the Savior that the Israelites had been waiting for. And because of his skepticism, he almost missed out on having a real encounter with the Savior of the world, Jesus Christ.
And I love how gently Philip reacts to Nathanael. He doesn't yell at Nathanael, saying, "You fool! You don't know what you're talking about!" But responds simply, "Come and see."
If I were in the same situation as Philip, I feel like in my flesh, I would probably be defensive of Jesus, trying to convince Nathanael otherwise, and maybe even trying to prove that Jesus' miracles really happened, that they weren't a trick. But Philip, in his faith, knew that Jesus didn't need his defense, because Jesus has the power to prove Himself true - and He certainly doesn't need our help to do that.
Now, flip ahead to John 21. Listed with Simon Peter, Thomas the Twin, and the sons of Zebedee, we see Nathanael's name. So, I imagine that means that Nathanael did see what good could come out of Nazareth - and what he saw was powerful enough to make him a follower of Jesus. Not only that, but he was blessed to see Jesus again, after the Resurrection! And to think, because of his unbelief, he could have missed out on everything. Praise the Lord, His grace is always sufficient for us, and He continually calls us into a relationship with Him, despite our mistakes, shortcomings, and unbelief.
So, back to 2014. As 2014 came to a close, I had the attitude, what good can come out of 2014. And because of my attitude, as 2015 came, I quickly realized I was carrying unnecessary baggage with me from 2014, letting it set the tone for the New Year. And I also realized, if I didn't let 2014 go, I was going to miss out on everything that the Lord has for me in 2015.
I've always liked to think that I'm a person that has a lot of faith, but the Lord is slowly showing me that if I have no hope, I really don't have faith. My definition of faith comes from Hebrews 11:1:
"Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen."
To me, this means that having faith is hoping in something that I can't see. And Romans 8:24 gives me my definition of hope:
"For we were saved in this hope, but hope that is seen is not hope; for why does one still hope for what he sees?" (Romans 8:24).
So, for me to have faith, I need to have hope. And for me to have hope, I have to trust God, that He still has good things for me in 2015, even though 2014 was such a difficult year. I don't want to miss out on any little thing that God has for me - I want to experience every piece of the life that He's ordained for me. I want to live life abundantly. I don't want to have past hurts and disappointments become shackles around my wrists. And the best way for me to accomplish this? By having faith, placing my hope in Jesus, and trusting that I can be confident that He who began a good work in me will complete it (Philippians 1:6).
With all of that in mind, I've cast 2014 behind me - receiving the lessons that God has wanted me to learn, growing from the trials and pain, and remembering all of the blessings and grace that Christ has had for me.
And in closing, I wanted to share just a few of the good things that God has already allowed me to experience in 2015.
When I think about everything that once was, and now is no more, I look back on 2014 with exhaustion, unable to look everything at once, for fear of it overwhelming me. And then, I look at 2015, and I see how this year hasn't really gotten off to a great start for me, in a lot of ways. When the New Year comes, I usually see it as a time to restart, to change so that I don't repeat the same mistakes that I made the previous year. It's usually a fresh start. But this January, I just couldn't seem to disconnect myself from 2014, and I felt like everything that was aching in my heart from 2014 was still clinging to me as the New Year rolled in.
Just recently, Byron and I were reading through John together, and I read something interesting, that I've never found importance in before... In the first Chapter of John, Philip goes to Nathanael and tells him about how he found the One that Moses and the prophets spoke of, the One that they'd been waiting for. And in response to this incredible news, Nathanael says, "Can anything good come out of Nazareth?" And Philip responds by saying, "Come and see" (John 1:46).
This one verse really struck me. Nathanael was prejudice against Nazareth, and therefore, he was reluctant to believe that anything good could come out of Nazareth, let alone the Savior that the Israelites had been waiting for. And because of his skepticism, he almost missed out on having a real encounter with the Savior of the world, Jesus Christ.
And I love how gently Philip reacts to Nathanael. He doesn't yell at Nathanael, saying, "You fool! You don't know what you're talking about!" But responds simply, "Come and see."
If I were in the same situation as Philip, I feel like in my flesh, I would probably be defensive of Jesus, trying to convince Nathanael otherwise, and maybe even trying to prove that Jesus' miracles really happened, that they weren't a trick. But Philip, in his faith, knew that Jesus didn't need his defense, because Jesus has the power to prove Himself true - and He certainly doesn't need our help to do that.
Now, flip ahead to John 21. Listed with Simon Peter, Thomas the Twin, and the sons of Zebedee, we see Nathanael's name. So, I imagine that means that Nathanael did see what good could come out of Nazareth - and what he saw was powerful enough to make him a follower of Jesus. Not only that, but he was blessed to see Jesus again, after the Resurrection! And to think, because of his unbelief, he could have missed out on everything. Praise the Lord, His grace is always sufficient for us, and He continually calls us into a relationship with Him, despite our mistakes, shortcomings, and unbelief.
So, back to 2014. As 2014 came to a close, I had the attitude, what good can come out of 2014. And because of my attitude, as 2015 came, I quickly realized I was carrying unnecessary baggage with me from 2014, letting it set the tone for the New Year. And I also realized, if I didn't let 2014 go, I was going to miss out on everything that the Lord has for me in 2015.
I've always liked to think that I'm a person that has a lot of faith, but the Lord is slowly showing me that if I have no hope, I really don't have faith. My definition of faith comes from Hebrews 11:1:
"Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen."
To me, this means that having faith is hoping in something that I can't see. And Romans 8:24 gives me my definition of hope:
"For we were saved in this hope, but hope that is seen is not hope; for why does one still hope for what he sees?" (Romans 8:24).
So, for me to have faith, I need to have hope. And for me to have hope, I have to trust God, that He still has good things for me in 2015, even though 2014 was such a difficult year. I don't want to miss out on any little thing that God has for me - I want to experience every piece of the life that He's ordained for me. I want to live life abundantly. I don't want to have past hurts and disappointments become shackles around my wrists. And the best way for me to accomplish this? By having faith, placing my hope in Jesus, and trusting that I can be confident that He who began a good work in me will complete it (Philippians 1:6).
With all of that in mind, I've cast 2014 behind me - receiving the lessons that God has wanted me to learn, growing from the trials and pain, and remembering all of the blessings and grace that Christ has had for me.
And in closing, I wanted to share just a few of the good things that God has already allowed me to experience in 2015.
Blessings,
Emily
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